Lizard People: Comedy & Conspiracy Theories

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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Lizard People: Comedy & Conspiracy Theories



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Now displaying: 2017
Dec 15, 2017

Heating and air conditioning! They’re the humble inventions that make modern life possible. But do you ever walk past your wall unit and think ‘does it really need to be that complicated?’ Bryan Rainstein does. The comedian, cartoonist, and all around angel stopped by Lizard HQ to discuss his many brushes with the nefarious HVAC industry, and his theory that we may all be the victims of the biggest con in history. To whit: it’s Bryan’s belief that there’s a better air conditioner out there that ~they~ don’t want you to know about. One that doesn’t drip on your friggin head. This conversation takes a turn for the philosophical, so get those thinking brains primed! And make sure you haven’t lost your stupid A/C remote.

Dec 8, 2017

What if, like, Satan is just in your mind, man? And like, all the popes are a bunch of pagan priests or whatever? The extremely thoughtful and talented Ariana Lenarsky joins us this week to discuss these groovy and far out questions, as well as to address the conspiracy theory that the Catholic Church is based in pagan idolatrous Satan worship. But we don’t stick with that for long, because we also cover: the nature of evil, our own religious upbringings, tarot, whether god is love, why Evangelicals hate Catholics so much, the Inquisition, and how exactly a mikveh works. Buckle up, because our brains are addled from the LA fires and this one is a wild ride.

Dec 1, 2017

Some people say that Jesus was celibate his whole life. People like, oh, The Pope. Ever heard of him? But there is some extremely intriguing evidence that Rabbi Yeshua of Nazareth was actually married, and his wife was none other than notorious foot washer Mary Magdalene. Our guest this week is the unbelievably funny comedian and actor Pam Murphy, and she has some pretty controversial opinions about Jesus, Mary, Judas, and all those freaky disciples. Listen in, religion fans!

Nov 24, 2017

In 1933 Franklin Delano Roosevelt so infuriated the robber barons and business elite with his progressive socialist plans, they plotted to overthrow the government and install a fascist dictatorship. Sound far-fetched? Oh honey, is this episode gonna blow your mind. Our guest AJ Salas has an encyclopedic knowledge of American history and a HOT TAKE on FDR’s presidency, and he’s here to change how you think of the Great Depression. Sure, we get pretty silly in this episode. But if you listen closely, you just might learn all the stuff you missed in AP History because your teacher was not as smart or cool as AJ.

Nov 17, 2017

In case you need another reason to hate Thanksgiving, we’ve got an episode that pertains to a whole bunch of Puritan f*ckery. Our guest is writer, actor, and podcaster Erica Bardin, and she’s got some pretty crazy ideas about how we got into this whole mess of sexual harassment and workplace inequality in the first place. So crazy… they just might be true. Erica suspects that it all goes back to the trial of Anne Hutchinson, the religious trailblazer, born leader, and extremely dope lady. We talk about theology, rude dudes, Erica’s cats, Anne’s zillion kids, how extremely wack sexism is, and many other things.

Nov 10, 2017

The conspiracy theory surrounding the Philadelphia Experiment is the stuff of nightmares. Believers argue that in 1943, in an attempt to speed up the arms race in World War II, the US Navy successfully caused the USS Eldridge to become invisible, teleport, and travel in time - which resulted in the horrifying deaths of several crew members. But also, that probably didn’t happen. Or did it?!? Nah. Maybe? Let our illustrious guest, comedian and actor and writer and genius Johnny Meeks, explain. Oh, and also please enjoy hearing about Johnny’s childhood trauma, the definition of a UFO-logist, the nature of invention, and the surprising political leanings of both your host and your guest.

Nov 3, 2017

Everyone knows Mother Teresa. Her name is synonymous with goodness and charity and lepers. But there are darker secrets lurking behind the myth and the sainthood. And if you follow the money, you might start to suspect that something is amiss, just like our guest returning fan favorite Jessica McClintock does. In fact, it may be possible that Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu (aka Saint Teresa) had ties to both the USSR and the US government, and that her purpose was never just to serve the poor. This episode has it all - horrible mispronunciations of names, wicked cronies, shady Vatican dealings, tons of history and research, a fight about celebrity spies, EVERYTHING!

Oct 27, 2017

Mix some fan favorite guests with absolutely no research and what do you get? Lizard People’s stupidest episode ever. The members of LA improv team Kid Scissors (aka Ben Dietzel, Alexis Preston, and Michael Dean) join the podcast to try to convince Katelyn that ghosts are real. Everyone discusses their own experiences with the paranormal, and we debate whether ghosts obey the laws of physics or not. It’s a spooky Halloween treat that also includes discussions on mysterious tennis shoes, childhood friends who grow up to be pretty meh, God, love, and how much Katelyn hates all her friends. It’s a silly Halloween party, and honey, you’re invited!

Also y’all we got sponsors again!! Hooray what a wonderful thing for the podcast and for you! Check out HelloFresh at, and enter code LIZARDPEOPLE30 at checkout for $30 off your first order!

Oct 20, 2017

Halloween is so scary, y’all. There’s ghouls, goblins, and of course the ever-present danger that you’ll bite into a harmless apple and get your mouth all goofed up by a razor blade. But where did the urban legend of razor blades in Halloween treats come from, and who could be behind these dastardly deeds? Whatever you think you know about this, throw it out the window. Because Alison Stevenson - stand-up comedian and writer and mega-babe - is here with some red hot truth. And as with all conspiracy theories, the key is to follow the money.

Oct 13, 2017

He’s been a beloved pop star for decades. He was a child prodigy who also managed to get married three times and create eight beautiful children. He has literally one million hits. He’s a vegan. But is Stevland Hardaway Morris really, truly blind? Because it probably won’t surprise you to know that there are people online who think Stevie Wonder is a big fake faker. Are they nuts? Or are they the only ones who know the truth? Shane Lennon, podcast host and inveterate charmer, gets to the bottom of this shocking conspiracy theory. The evidence is compelling, and runs the gamut from basketball rumors to shocking mic stand saves. But will it convince YOU, dear listener? Only one way to find out. We try to be very careful about respecting folks with disabilities in this one, but we maybe get it wrong a couple times. Apologies if so!

Oct 6, 2017

Y’all ready for a spooky one??? Charlie Mihelich - writer, improviser, and performer - is here with a terrifying tale of the mysterious interruptions that haunt our airwaves. Where do broadcast signal intrusions come from? Who creates them? Why do they exist? How come so many of them are just porn? All these eerie questions and more are addressed in this week’s episode. We cover the Max Headroom TV event, the cliche as hell Montana zombies, the Christian Playboy hack, and way more. And you’ll be glad to know that we also address UVB-76, aka The Buzzer, aka What The Hell Russia Why You Gotta Be So Creepy All The Time. From radio to tv to podcasts themselves, no medium is safe from… broadcast interruptions.

Sep 29, 2017

A ghost haunts the Star Wars universe. A poltergeist, whose idiot gibbering has tormented fans of the series for decades. His name… is Jar Jar Binks. Pretty much everyone hates the hapless Gungan, and he’s been written off as a failed attempt at comic relief from the wacky brain of George Lucas. But what if Jar Jar is more than that? What if he’s the dark force behind all the suffering and death of the prequels. What if Jar Jar himself is the Phantom Menace? Our guest this week is the podcaster and musician and extremely talented writer Andy Kneis, and Andy thinks that Jar Jar just might be evil. Nevermind that George Lucas has never planned more than half a movie ahead in any of his scripts ever. He was for sure setting Jar Jar up to be the galaxy’s greatest villain of all time. FOR SURE.  If you love hearing comedians roast child actors, you’ll like this one. Listen up, nerds!

Sep 22, 2017

Get ready to ride a real rollercoaster of an episode, y’all. This one starts out with Satanic panic in the 1970’s, takes a left turn to Hollywood pedophile rings, whizzes through a loop-de-loop of incredibly dark jokes about babies, and ends up in a sunny theme park of making fun of celebrities. Do you know what Corey Feldman is up to? You’re about to. Our guests this week are the extremely funny writers and podcasters Robert and Sara Clarke-Chan, and they’ve got some hot hot takes on how Hollywood ruins child actors, and also on the impending birth of their own child. Shit. Gets. Wild.

Sep 15, 2017

Our guest this week is comedian, podcaster and American hero Matt Rath, and he has a theory that could blow the lid off the whole damn country. Matt knows that the government is deliberately undermining so-called ‘conspiracy theorists’ in order to make them look ridiculous, so they can carry on with their shady business undisturbed. Think that all UFOlogists are fools? Think again, chump. Also as a bonus, we forced Matt to record this episode in 100-degree heat. See if you can hear the sweat hit the mic!

Sep 8, 2017

Prepare your ears and gird your loins for possibly the filthiest episode of Lizard People ever. Our guest this week is Julie Brister, a bonafide comedy star with a list of tv credits a mile long and a passion for teaching and directing. But really our guest is 13-year-old Julie, who heard a rumor involving Rod Stewart, an onstage collapse, and eight pounds of human semen. Yeah. We talk about how much ejaculate weighs, the sex appeal of androgynous rock stars, how it feels to be in 7th grade and believe everything, how many sailors fit on an aircraft carrier, whether Lizard People will ever get a sponsor again after this episode, and way way more. We also giggle like damn schoolgirls. Enjoy!

Sep 1, 2017

It’s one of history’s great mysteries. What happened to the Russian hiking party that died under suspicious circumstances in the Siberian wilderness? None of the details line up, from the tent torn open from the inside to the mysterious orbs of light some villagers report seeing in the sky that fateful night. Could it have been the government testing dangerous alien tech? Or could it have been something even… dumber? Our guest is the talented writer and dear friend of the show Colton Stickney, and he has a theory about what happened in the Dyatlov Pass that will blow your damn mind. Listen and learn, children.

Aug 25, 2017

Everyone agrees that the government is keeping things from us. But could it be keeping something as huge and world-changing as completely free energy? And more importantly, could this be the greatest podcast crossover ever? Our very special guests this week are Willy Roberts and Wade Randolph from the podcast Real Life Sci-Fi. Willy is a believer, Wade is a skeptic, your girl Katelyn is in-between, and the three of us discuss the possibility that free energy exists and could be harnessed by the average person, if only Big Energy and the leaders of the world weren't keeping it from us. Along the way we also discuss perpetual motion machines, whether gravity exists, what 'free energy' actually means, underwater pyramids, and of course Nikola Tesla.

Aug 18, 2017

It’s part two in our series of ‘Ruin Everyone’s Childhood’ series, and this time a beloved children’s movie is on the chopping block! Lots of people have pointed out that it’s pretty weird that Willy Wonka was fine with baking and stretching children in the film ‘Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory’. But few have dared to make the argument that in fact those children weren’t just juiced - they were iced. Heroic podcast producer/comedian and dear friend of the show Rian Kountzhouse stopped by to argue just that. We have a spirited debate about whether Gene Wilder was capable of killing the children, whether the Oompa Loompas are just brainwashed cult members, and of course about the nature of reality. It’s a classic episode!

Aug 11, 2017

This one goes out to the 90’s babies! And also to anyone who’s ever wondered if there’s a little more to their cartoons than meets the eye. Also people who love sad shit. This week we talk to the hilarious Franklin sisters, hosts of the podcast Trust The (Bachelor) Process and stellar comedians and writers. Sarah and Alex have a little theory about some of your Nickelodeon shows, and baby, it ain’t pretty. They believe that Doug, Rugrats, Spongebob Squarepants and Hey Arnold are actually about the ravages of loss and mental illness. Yes, your favorite cartoon kiddos are actual irradiated, depressed, schizophrenic, racist, and just downright old-fashioned grief phantoms. Fun!

Aug 4, 2017

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a meteor! It’s a comet! It’s… Tesla’s magic death ray gone wild?? Oh do we have a doozy of an episode for you, scouts. America’s podcast boyfriend Steven Ray Morris is here, and he’s got a fascinating theory about what really caused the Tunguska event. We talk about what might be behind the massive explosion that flattened thousands of acres of Russian forest, which has baffled scientists ever since. And we also cover band names, how much we both love cats, reindeer behavior, stupid asshole jerk Thomas Edison, and beautiful gorgeous nature. Also we straight up ROAST producer Alexis. It’s fun!

Jul 28, 2017

Whatever happened to history’s most famous fly girl?? That question has haunted many a PBS special and Florida retiree. And this week, we delve into the mysterious photo that’s re-opened the Earhart cold case and has us all wondering where she went. Our guest Mel Stephens - of the poignant podcast Fear Based Life - walks us through the events of the crash, and the possibilities for what might have happened. Along the way, we also talk drones, military goof-ups, and the fact that Ameelz was the dopest person of the whole 30’s. Miss you girl.

Jul 21, 2017

Do you like music? Of course you do! And you’re gonna love this extremely in depth conversation about George and Katelyn’s favorite players in the wonderful world of alt-country (whatever that means!!!) We talk Americana, the Nashville machine, those songs that stop you dead in your tracks and make you cry, the difference between honest and dishonest lyrics, which musicians are the funniest, and somehow we even manage to talk about a conspiracy theory. What theory? Why, that indie country darling Sturgill Simpson is secretly a Navy Seal turned CIA Assassin. Oh and listen all the way through for several bonus original country songs from your new fave musical duo.

It’s your last chance (for a lil while) to get a Loot Crate for less and to help out Lizard People! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to money and support your buds.

Jul 14, 2017

Buckle up buddies because we are about to get POLITICAL. Our guest is the unbelievably funny and brilliant Travis Coles, and he has a theory so bold and shocking that it just might destroy politics and celebrity culture as we know it. He thinks that actor Stacey Dash and surgeon/politician Ben Carson are both robots created by white supremacist neo-cons to undermine black progressives and promote racism. Sound wild? You don’t even know the HALF of it. We talk about Hollyweird, DC, racism, Uncle Toms, narcissists, gender neutral bathrooms, and how trill and fun it is to be a progressive.

Know who gave us money to make this episode? Loot Crate did. We love ‘em. Go to and enter our code LIZARD.

Jul 12, 2017

The Eye of Horus. The Pyramid. Bender’s shiny metal ass. All these things are powerful Illuminati symbols, designed to brainwash the masses and bring us sheeple peacefully into servitude. Don’t believe us? Well we got the RECEIPTS buddy!! In this mini episode, Katelyn explores the Illuminati symbolism within Matt Groening’s beloved animated shows. Are Homer and Leela and Fry and Lisa really pawns of the New World Order? Or are internet weirdos just looking for reasons to rewatch the greatest shows ever made.

This whole dang episode was sponsored by Loot Crate. How cute! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to save on your box of excellent goodies. This month has Rick and Morty, do it do it do it!!!

Jul 7, 2017

Genetically modified organisms. Pesticides. Chemical fertilizers. They're on everything except a dang label. But are these integral parts of agriculture in the modern world? Or are they hot toxic garbage designed to make us sick so that They can benefit??? Unbelievably hilarious podcast host and comedian Jackie Michele Johnson (of Natch Beaut fame) stopped by the Lizards Den to argue that GMOs etc are part of a master plan, and that to feel clean you gotta eat clean. Everyone gets a little passionate about food, but gosh dang it food is important and why shouldn't we???

This episode is brought to you by Loot Crate, a box full of delightful fun.  Go to and enter code LIZARD!!

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