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Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)
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Oct 28, 2016

Some people are scared of clowns. Some are scared of dying alone. Some are even scared of cute harmless little frogs. But one thing we can all agree on is that Satan is SCARY! Hilarious and erudite comedian Patrick Ehlers came on the podcast to tell us all about the maybe mythical but highly wacky book known as the Grand Grimoire, a book of magic that apparently spells out how to summon demons. Including Satan. The book tells you how to summon Satan. And that's not even the wildest thing we discuss in this episode! Patrick also knows a lot about comic books, the history of language, video games, and Academy Award winning movies. It's a very fun conversation and not as spooky as a Halloween episode probably should be, but oh well. Enjoy, and be sure to check out Patrick's wonderful new podcast Nintendo Cartridge Society!

Oct 21, 2016

We've covered some dark conspiracy theories on this podcast. Things like Illuminati sacrifices, owl murders, secret Republican orgies, and good old fashioned fake deaths. But this has to be the most twisted, bleak, disturbing one of all. What if Louis Tomlinson's baby... IS FAKE?? Yes we're talking about THE Louis Tomlinson, singing child and nice hair haver. A little while back he knocked up a lady and now they have a kid together. But a lot of the internet thinks that their baby is just a cover for Louis' passionate relationship with Harry Styles, also a handsome singing fetus. Comedian and pop-culture enthusiast Brooke Hartnett joined us on the podcast to talk about where that baby really came from, and how they covered the whole thing. It was a very fun and silly and shallow and scatter-brained wonderful time. Also, come on out to the Tucson Comedy Arts Festival from November 9th to the 12th! We'll give you lots of high fives.

Oct 14, 2016

Turn on your iTunes. She's there. Check your Facebook. She's there. Look up into the sky at a tall white crane that's soaring majestically through a cloud. Taylor Swift is there too. The gal is everywhere, and her career has been going strong for what, like 12 years now? Love her or hate her, you can't escape the huge impact Tay Tay has had on pop culture. No wonder, then, that conspiracy theories swirl around the lanky popster like so many preteen groupies. From 'Taylor is illuminati' to 'Taylor is a satanist clone', there are some wild theories about her, and in this mini-episode, Katelyn covers her favorites with the usual lack of regard for facts. So don't you worry your pretty little mind, because we're about to blow your brain straight our your ear holes.

Oct 7, 2016

Ever feel like the whole world is conspiring against you? Like the fat cats and the corporations and the government want to keep you down? Well according to our guest, brilliant comedian Scott Thiede, you're dead right!! Scott thinks that there's a plot afoot to keep the poor poor and the rich filthy stinkin rich. And he's got some interesting evidence to prove it. Gotta' listen to find out what, though! Because we're not gonna put it in the episode description.

Sep 30, 2016

Something is happening in the ocean. Strange deaths, unexplained disappearances, mean rude stingrays. But what if these odd coincidences are in fact... AN ANIMAL CONSPIRACY. Our guest Ele Woods - a smart and hilarious comedian and also excellent dancer and costume-maker - makes the argument that the many odd animal-related deaths around the world are actually part of a global inter-species conspiracy to kill all humans. Also our voices sound very similar, so if you can't tell who is who know that Ele is the funny one and Katelyn is the one that keeps cackling loudly. This theory is a lil spooky!

Sep 23, 2016

Do you enjoy hearing hardcore theatre nerds geek out over Shakespeare? Well then you're gonna go gaga for this ep! The very funny and shockingly smart comedian Jeff Zuschlag came on the podcast to cover on of the nearest and dearest subjects to our hearts: SHAKESPEAH! Namely, the theory that Shakespeare didn't actually write the plays that are attributed to him. We discuss the Bard, his buddies, horny theatre teens, zines, dead languages, and the eternal mystery surrounding the true source of genius. It's pretty fun!

Sep 16, 2016

In this episode acclaimed director, writer, and Canadian Matt Johnson stops by the studio to tell us the real deal truth about the moon landing. Namely, that it for sure actually happened! Turns out he knows more than just about anyone under 70 about lunar landings, because he had to become an expert to make his magnificent movie Operation Avalanche. If you're a fan of independent film, science, powerful storytelling, budget talk, car chases, movie tech, and strangers becoming friends, this episode is most definitely for you. Have a nice time!

Sep 9, 2016

In this episode, we find out that Jake Regal (actor and comedian and multi-talented man) can play a college student with uncanny accuracy. Plus, he knows literally everything about wrestling. This week we explored the dramatic (and probably rigged) 1985 NBA draft. It was wild! In addition, we compare NBA commissioners to Archie characters, explore the logistics of freezing paper, discuss the homoerotic nature of MMA, and do a mini-episode about the Montreal Screw Job. Enjoy hearing a very patient person explain sports to an idiot.

Sep 2, 2016

Get ready for a high-intensity, fast-talking, chakra-busting, Catalina-denying, chicken-teething good time! Genius writer and director Brandon Blanks stopped by to talk about interdimensional lizard aliens and the possible messiah David Icke. We say lots of possible slurs for aliens and planets, and spin out some truly wild ideas about what might really be controlling our beliefs and actions. Feat. fan favorite Omri Kruvi in a hot cameo!

Aug 26, 2016

JFK's assassination is one of the greatest American conspiracy theories. And our guest, the hilarious and crazy smart Maria Perros fully did it justice with her amazing argument that he was betrayed by the CIA. By his own CIA, people!!! In this intense episode we deal with Lee Harvey Oswald, dirty commies, unfortunate turns of phrase, fat babies, and Jewish teeth. It's a delight.

Aug 19, 2016

Our guest this week is Allegra Ringo, hilarious comedian and co-host of the amazing podcast Can I Pet Your Dog? This conspiracy involves the very sad passing of Kathleen Peterson, who seems like an extremely nice person. Her husband was jailed for her murder, but since the trial some very weird evidence has come to light. OWLY EVIDENCE. Guys, owls are metal as hell. Listen in for a sizzling hot critique of the justice system, and so so many swears. Sorry to both of our families!

Aug 12, 2016
It's the return of a champion! Fran fave Todd McClintock is back, this time with an appallingly stupid conspiracy theory involving The Beatles, eyebrows, earlobes, lies, money, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. This theory posits that there were multiple actors playing each Beatle, and that their deaths were staged. Sound insane? It is! This episode is mostly screaming and giggling and visual jokes, aka the greatest episode of any podcast ever. Bonus: Todd writes an original song!
Aug 5, 2016

What if angels were just aliens? What if the pyramids were build by lazers? What if the war on Christmas was a real thing? All these questions and more are answered on this episode, in which Mark David Christenson addresses the theory that ancient alien astronauts came to earth to teach us junk like architecture and then mess around with our DNA. And as a bonus, we get verrrrrrry fiesty about organized religion. Westboro Baptist, sashay away!

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Jul 29, 2016

We all know Brit Brit had a pretty tough go of it in 2007. But not a lot of people remember that George W. Bush was doing the political equivalent of shaving his head and fighting paparazzi with umbrellas. Guest Sarah Franklin makes a SHOCKINGLY compelling argument that Spears was an off-the-books employee of the Bush White House. You might disagree with our politics, and you might disagree with our pop-culture obsession. But you can't disagree that Crossroads is the greatest film of our generation.

Jul 22, 2016

Melania Trump had a pretty bad night at the Republican National Convention. Oh well, everyone screws up sometimes and plagiarizes from one of the most famous people in the world. OR DO THEY??? Maybe Melania was actually sabotaged by one of the merry miscreants associated with the Trump campaign! But was it the campaign manager, the speech writer, the son-in-law, the mysterious dancer, or famed director Werner Herzog? You're about to find out, in Lizard People's first ever solo episode tackling a Fran Theory. Featuring accordion music!

Jul 15, 2016

At first it's gonna seem like Dave Child (actor and comedian and wonderful person) doesn't believe his own conspiracy theory. But about halfway into this episode things got really weird. Maybe the Bohemian Grove is just a campground where rich old Republicans get together to pee outside. Or maybe it's something...stranger.

Jul 8, 2016

Look, we all agree that the pharmaceutical industry is messed up. Like real messed up. But is it messed up...on purpose? Eh, probly not. Our guest this week, writer and funny guy Omri Kruvi, isn't quite a skeptic or a believer, and the conversation gets real silly and then real serious. Come along for the ride!

Jul 1, 2016

What is going on in the Denver metro airport? Were the Illuminati behind Nazi Germany? Can exes actually be friends? WHO KNOWS MAN. Artist, illustrator, writer and funny guy Oliver Carder came on the podcast in spite of his hatred for conspiracy theories, and discussed the strange details surrounding the Denver Airport. Listen to this ep if you want to hear a woman drive her former boyfriend to a mental breakdown.

Jun 24, 2016

And now, the extraordinary story of Katie Hitler, the nice, basic girl who happens to be Hitler's great-grand-niece. Just kidding! Just regular Hitler. Erika Curry is fascinated with World War Two, and she came on the podcast to talk about the theory that Hitler did not kill himself in the bunker, but in fact escaped to Argentina. We also talk about Korean spas, Captain America, accents, SoulCycle, race, guyabera shirts, and the nature of evil.

Jun 17, 2016

Comedian and director and writer and all around boss ass bitch Lindsay Stidham is on the show this week, and she's here to talk about a conspiracy theory surrounding one of the comedy greats. Andy Kaufman died in 1984 of complications from lung cancer. OR DID HE??? He said a lot of weird stuff before he passed about staging a hoax and escaping from celebrity. But was he just a big weird loon? Or was he the greatest comedian ever to live? Or both? Or neither? Either way, more comedians should take the audience out for milk and cookies.

Jun 3, 2016

Joe Quint came on the podcast to share a dangerous theory. A theory so powerful, it could undermine the very nature of existence. What if, like, The Matrix is totally real? But it's, like, scientists? Woah. This is the brainiest conversation ever to happen on LP and you're gonna either love it or hate it. But Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Elon Musk just endorsed simulation theory so you better jump on the train ASAP dudes. Also was Katelyn right about Wil Wheaton, or was Joe?!?! Gotta listen to find out.

May 20, 2016

Ok ladies, now let's talk about the Illuminati. Where did it come from? Why is it still relevant? Why are we so afraid of powerful black artists and culture-creators that we need to make up stories about them being satanists? Writer and social media whiz Olivia Duncan knows more Beyonce lyrics than you do, and she brings us the terrifying tale of the global conspiracy that's taking over our  awards shows and Walkmen. Way to go Olivia!

May 6, 2016

The Zodiac Killer is one of the great unsolved mysteries of American law enforcement. The string of deaths in northern California remains impossible to resolve, and the man who murdered as many as 37 people remains at large. OR DOES HE??? Michael Dean, funny comedian and very nice boy, believes that the Zodiac Killer is in fact none other than former Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz. Why else would he drop out of the race? Not because he was losing (although dang did he get his butt handed to him). Not because he ate a booger on live TV. No, it's because he was about to be revealed as one of the most notorious serial killers in American History. Duh.

Apr 22, 2016

She was a tragic beauty, the first true royal celebrity, snatched away by a mysterious accident before her time. The world is still mourning Diana, even though Kate is arguably better at wearing nice dresses and waving. Join our guest Jamie Di Spirito, actor/writer/comedian/British guy, as he gets to the bottom of what may have really happened to the people's princess. Bonus: we all learn a lesson about what you're not allowed to call people in America.

Apr 8, 2016

1st question: Did you watch The People vs OJ Simpson? 2nd question: HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE SARAH PAULSON? For our guest on this week's episode, the answers are 'yes' and 'very much'. Nicole Jeans, social media impresario and comedic powerhouse, brings the heat with her argument that OJ wasn't the murderer after all. This ep features chef's knives, some meditation on the nature of mental illness, and a very mysterious lawyer!

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