Lizard People: Comedy & Conspiracy Theories

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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Lizard People: Comedy & Conspiracy Theories




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Jul 21, 2017

Do you like music? Of course you do! And you’re gonna love this extremely in depth conversation about George and Katelyn’s favorite players in the wonderful world of alt-country (whatever that means!!!) We talk Americana, the Nashville machine, those songs that stop you dead in your tracks and make you cry, the difference between honest and dishonest lyrics, which musicians are the funniest, and somehow we even manage to talk about a conspiracy theory. What theory? Why, that indie country darling Sturgill Simpson is secretly a Navy Seal turned CIA Assassin. Oh and listen all the way through for several bonus original country songs from your new fave musical duo.

It’s your last chance (for a lil while) to get a Loot Crate for less and to help out Lizard People! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to money and support your buds.

Jul 14, 2017

Buckle up buddies because we are about to get POLITICAL. Our guest is the unbelievably funny and brilliant Travis Coles, and he has a theory so bold and shocking that it just might destroy politics and celebrity culture as we know it. He thinks that actor Stacey Dash and surgeon/politician Ben Carson are both robots created by white supremacist neo-cons to undermine black progressives and promote racism. Sound wild? You don’t even know the HALF of it. We talk about Hollyweird, DC, racism, Uncle Toms, narcissists, gender neutral bathrooms, and how trill and fun it is to be a progressive.

Know who gave us money to make this episode? Loot Crate did. We love ‘em. Go to and enter our code LIZARD.

Jul 12, 2017

The Eye of Horus. The Pyramid. Bender’s shiny metal ass. All these things are powerful Illuminati symbols, designed to brainwash the masses and bring us sheeple peacefully into servitude. Don’t believe us? Well we got the RECEIPTS buddy!! In this mini episode, Katelyn explores the Illuminati symbolism within Matt Groening’s beloved animated shows. Are Homer and Leela and Fry and Lisa really pawns of the New World Order? Or are internet weirdos just looking for reasons to rewatch the greatest shows ever made.

This whole dang episode was sponsored by Loot Crate. How cute! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to save on your box of excellent goodies. This month has Rick and Morty, do it do it do it!!!

Jul 7, 2017

Genetically modified organisms. Pesticides. Chemical fertilizers. They're on everything except a dang label. But are these integral parts of agriculture in the modern world? Or are they hot toxic garbage designed to make us sick so that They can benefit??? Unbelievably hilarious podcast host and comedian Jackie Michele Johnson (of Natch Beaut fame) stopped by the Lizards Den to argue that GMOs etc are part of a master plan, and that to feel clean you gotta eat clean. Everyone gets a little passionate about food, but gosh dang it food is important and why shouldn't we???

This episode is brought to you by Loot Crate, a box full of delightful fun.  Go to and enter code LIZARD!!

Jun 30, 2017

One of the great American mysteries of the 20th century began on Christmas Eve of 1945 in West Virginia. West Virginia!! The story of the missing Sodder children has haunted the country ever since, and what might appear to be a simple and depressing case of a house fire might be way more than that. In this ep, the extremely smart Tamar Stevens catches us up on the many possibilities of what might have happened to the tots, from for-profit adoption to Italian fascists to maybe even just like wandering out into the night. And if you get time, you absolutely MUST research what was in that box. This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It’s fun! Go to and enter our code LIZARD. Have fun!

Jun 23, 2017

JD Salinger’s seminal novel Catcher In The Rye has been THE classic teen angst bible for half a century. It’s beloved by alienated teens and weird adults alike. But what if the book is more than just the story of an emo little shithead wandering around New York City? What if it’s a government tool used to trigger assassins? OR ALTERNATIVELY what if it’s just a book written by a madman that appeals to the darkness inside other loonys? OR WHAT IF this whole episode is a pretext for the wonderful Cassi Jerkins to talk about her cats? WHAT IF?!?!?!?!? This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It’s fun! Go to and enter our code LIZARD.

Jun 16, 2017

Fan fave Dave Child is back! And this time he’s tackling one of the great American urban legends - the Mothman himself. This very serious look at West Virginia’s favorite cryptid and Richard Gere’s least favorite film covers all the possibilities for what the Mothman might really be. Is he an evolutionary throwback? A traveler from another dimension? Or a monster that reappears throughout world mythology - and in another episode of this very podcast? Listen up and decide for yourself, gumshoe!

This episode is sponsored by Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Head to for all your clothing needs and get 20% off with our lil code LIZARD. Then pop by for some nerdy goodies and enter our promo code LIZARD. Thanks, love you!

Jun 9, 2017

Hasn’t every little girl dreamed of being a pop star? The fame, the outfits, the chance to goad your best friend into suicide so that you can take over her life and then record some cutesy pop albums. This wicked little conspiracy dates all the way back to 2007, but it’s having a resurgence for some reason. And comedian, writer, stripper and podcast host Kasey Koop is here to argue that Avril died and was replaced by her body double right after her second album. We talk about who married Chad Kroeger, the way artists evolve over a lifetime, Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Satan, our teen years, and whether astrology is just total bullshit. This episode is sponsored by our good buddies Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Get your butt over to and use the promo code LIZARD for 20% off all their classy underwear, socks, shirts, sweats and swag. Then cruise by and sign up for their cool as hell subscription box using the promo code LIZARD. They’re awesome.

Jun 2, 2017

We’d like to buy the world a… SHAM?!? There’s an unsavory episode in the history of Coca Cola that the biggest soda company in the world would like you to forget about (actually there are a bunch, look it up). But in this case, we’re talking about Coke’s colossal and expensive 1985 misstep, the introduction of New Coke. The company lost millions of dollars because consumers refused to let them trifle with their beloved bev, and Coke quickly replaced the old formula. But here’s the thing. Some people think it wasn’t a misstep at all, and the company intentionally took an L so that they could bring back traditional Coke and blow everyone’s minds. What madman would be bold enough to argue this theory? WILL HINES THAT’S WHO. The phenomenal comedian, teacher, writer, and actor stopped by to blow all our minds with his wildly well-thought-out theory that Coca Cola planned the whole dang caper. Thanks Will! And thanks to you for listening. Hey and don’t forget to patronize our Brand! New! Sponsor! We love Loot Crate and we think you will too, head over to and use promo code LIZARD to get your nerd swag.

May 26, 2017

The loveable lads from Liverpool led a laudable life and left a lasting legacy. But what if there’s more to the story than just ‘four dudes did good tunes’? What if the story of The Beatles also involved… A CONSPIRACY THEORY??!? The rumour that Paul McCartney died in 69 and was replaced by a lookalike has dogged the mop top crew ever since Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was released, and it endures even unto today. And talented musician and comedian Greg Smith is here to argue that there’s more to this theory than meets the eye. We cover music, murder, money, and the real reason Katelyn hates the music of The Beatles. It’s a very bad reason.

May 19, 2017

You might think you know everything about the theory that Beyonce used a surrogate to give birth to little Blue. Honey? YOU KNOW NOTHING. Our wonderful guests for this episode - Molly Fite and Liz Jenkins - argue that there is a huge web of conspiracies and lies surrounding the precious little toddler. A web that includes egg donation, big ass fans, the comedy stylings of Wendy Williams, misogyny, celebrity culture, wigs on wigs on wigs, and one of the funniest comedy duos in the business. Molly and Liz are a dream, Blue Ivy is a cute baby, and at the end of the day you can always just throw up your hands and say WHO CARES. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon! Pop on over to, use our code LIZARD for 20% off, and get you some cool new gear.

May 12, 2017
Elvis sightings. They're as all-American as IHOP and as elusive as an IHOP with clean tables. But why has the conspiracy theory that Elvis Presley faked his own death endured for so long? And why does the National Enquirer STILL post about it? These questions and more are answered by the excellent and thoughtful Clare Loughran, our guest for this week. Clare's got the inside scoop on all the things that are sus about Elvis' autopsy report, his gravestone, and his weird creepy legacy. There's a lotta weirdness there, y'all! This ep is brought to you by our good buddies over at Mack Weldon. Use promo code LIZARD for 20% off ya new drawers!
May 5, 2017

Did you know about the tragic story about what Epcot Center might have been? Do you know why Disney animators used to call Walt a tree in the woods (or something like that)? DO YOU KNOW WHERE WALT'S FROZEN BODY IS BURIED?? If you seek the answers to these questions and more, this episode is gonna rock your dang world. Talented comedian and Disney fanatic Rachel Chapman is here to argue that the creator of modern animation Walt Disney was in fact cryogenically frozen right after his death and is somewhere under one of the theme parks. It's an conspiracy old theory and a good one, and we had a real fun time talking Disney lore and animation drama.

Apr 28, 2017

Basketball is the only sport worth watching. What, is that too hot of a take for you? TOO BAD. Prepare to get fired up about sports minutiae, as our guest Naomi Villa walks us through the conspiracy theory that referees rigged the 2016 NBA championship. Naomi is a comedian and recent b-ball convert, and she has some strong opinions about those seven stressful games between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers. We come up with some really great nicknames for the teams and players and managers in this one, feel free to tweet at them and let them know they have a new moniker.

Apr 21, 2017

Katie Holmes at Pilates? Oprah Winfrey riding in a John Deere tractor for charity? Chris Evans glazing  pottery at a Color Me Mine? If they're a celebrity in public, you better believe they're wearing a wig. At least, according to our illustrious guest Erin Byrne. Erin makes the argument that all famous folks (pretty much) are follicularly deficient from years of tress abuse, and therefore have to toupee up. And along the way we talk about culture, gender, boring ass basic celebs, wig structuring, internalizes misogyny, and our hella awkward teen years. It's heartfelt and it's silly as shit.

Apr 14, 2017

This HAARP ain't in a philharmonic, that's for sure. Will that be the worst joke this episode? No. This week we get all up into the mysterious  High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, located in glamorous Gakona, Alaska. HAARP is at the heart of numerous conspiracy theories, largely thanks to it's connection with the oh so strange Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, aka DARPA. Our brainy guest Maggie Monahan walks us through the various possibilities of what might be going on up at HAARP. She also tells us about some of DARPA's dumbest projects, the gnarly nuclear nun, several suspicious doctors, and Katelyn's greatest enemy, the University of Tokyo.

Apr 7, 2017

In a Lizard People first, we have TWO illustrious guests on this episode. And prepare yourself, because it's double the giggles. Julian Gonzales and Jesse Esparza of the Extra Extra Podcast are here to teach us all about one of the most dastardly murders of the 21st century. That's right, the time that Beyonce killed Joan Rivers. At first not very much connects the two celebrities, but once you get into it there's a whole world of mildly convincing numbers and signs. Buckle up for a wild ride through pop culture, high culture, Whitney Houston impressions, Jay Z doppelgangers, meditations on the nature of fandom, and way more. It gets silly as all hell.

Apr 4, 2017

Do we have a treat for you, precious Lizzies! This week's mini episode featured an in-depth conversation about all the Beyonce pregnancy rumors. We tackle the mismatched dates, the weird tummy fold, even that extremely credible story about the armpit c-section. And best of all, our partner in debunkery is best friend of the show Genna Lipari, a doula in training and a deeply funny and smart and empathetic woman. Genna walks us through all the 'evidence' that Bey faked her pregnancy, and all the reasons that those rumors are not only not credible, they're downright insulting. It's a fascinating conversation about gender, placentas, culture, womanhood, and gross squishy babies. Think you're gonna love this one!

Mar 31, 2017

You like professional wrestling? The thing is, even if you think you don't, you honestly do. From the pageantry to the hella ripped bods to the powerful community that's congealed around it, wrestling has become so much more than just a goofy rigged pseudo-sport. And in this episode our illustrious guest argues that the modern era of wrestling can be traced back to one shocking fight - the infamous Montreal Screwjob. Jon Mackey is a talented writer, director, and comedian, and he's finally going public about his passionate love for the art and sport that is wrestling. He's also addressing the true conspiracy behind the event that changed sports forever.

Mar 25, 2017

Wowie zowie, it's our 50th episode! It's been a blast to take this journey with all of you, and we think it was a blast to record this ep but somehow nobody really remembers doing it? It's weird, we all just sort of have a blank 48 hours in our memories. But it seems like that was when we were recording and editing this? Guess this is what happens when you set out to do a 9/11 episode. Anyway, huge thanks to all the people who apparently lent their talents to this, including: Matt Walsh, Sarah Claspell, Jon Mackey, Ele Woods, Ben Dietzel, Ryan Middledorf, Grant Martz, Sarah De La Isla, Cooper James, Clem, Maude, Michael Dean, and Alexis Preston. They were probably an absolute pleasure to have in the Lizard's Lair. Hope you like it! And... stay safe out there.

Mar 21, 2017

If you're like us, you're still waiting on your check for protesting from George Soros. What gives, Georgie? Turns ol Soros is at the heart of a lot of contemporary conspiracy theories, including the ones that paint Black Lives Matter as a violent group, and that argue that the Women's March was organized by the shady left. But are any of these true? Are all of them true? Is the New York Times Opinion section basically just The National Enquirer these days? All these questions and more will be answered in this fran-inspired mini-episode.

Mar 17, 2017

Tap tap. Tap tap. What's that sound? Why it's a gay bathroom scandal a-blowing in! It seems like with every passing year there's another crazy drama wherein a conservative politician who's actively campaigned against LGBTQ rights is discovered soliciting sexy gay sex online or in a men's room. But what's behind all that? Why does it keep turning out that the most hateful people are the very thing they hate? Our hilarious and brilliant guest Petey Gibson addresses that weird pattern in the very best way - by arguing that it's kind of a conspiracy! Petey also has some very wise words about marriage, vaudeville, gender, muffin tops, politics, seals, and which chest binder gives you the most bang for your buck. We have a lot of laughs, and we also do a lot of serious thinking! Take this journey with us, won't ya?

Mar 10, 2017

Ooh wee, one of the big ones! Folks have been rehashing the chemtrails/contrails controversy since way back in the 90's, and it seems like each new day brings a new Reddit subthread about it. But what exactly are chemtrails? And why do they keep appearing in the form of a Star of David? Our guest, the wildly talented actor and comedian Mike Lane, addresses just these questions. Plus he also tells us all about Chamillionaire, fashion, superbugs, vapor, nude planes, secret technology, big pharma, little effers, depression, and way way more.  But one thing that none of us know about is video games! This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, so head on over to and enter the code LIZARD for 20% off!

Mar 3, 2017

Did you know that at one point the US government was just giving out free TV's? And did you know that Siri can totally hear what you're saying at all times? Doesn't that just wig you out??? For some of us, the answer is nah. But according to our illustrious guest, actor and comedian Sarah Claspell, we should all be a little more worried about exactly what data our TV's and smart phones and wise watches are collecting. We also touch on pie thumbs, geometry, bombs, the NSA, nerds, and much much more. This episode also features a WILD cameo from our friend Alexa. Still waiting on those 100 beers.

Feb 24, 2017

You're a good pet owner. You feed your fur baby (ew) the more expensive food, you make sure they get exercise and stimulation, you give them lots of nice pats, you microchip them. But what if that little piece of tech isn't there to track your cat? What if it's there... to track you? The hilarious actor and writer and comedian Haley Hepworth rolled through to argue that our pets microchips are just part of a bigger strategy from the government to keep us in line. And it's preeeeetty spooky, if you think about it!! We have a nice chat and get to describe lots of cute animal things. What more could you want?

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