Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)



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Apr 4, 2017

Do we have a treat for you, precious Lizzies! This week's mini episode featured an in-depth conversation about all the Beyonce pregnancy rumors. We tackle the mismatched dates, the weird tummy fold, even that extremely credible story about the armpit c-section. And best of all, our partner in debunkery is best friend of the show Genna Lipari, a doula in training and a deeply funny and smart and empathetic woman. Genna walks us through all the 'evidence' that Bey faked her pregnancy, and all the reasons that those rumors are not only not credible, they're downright insulting. It's a fascinating conversation about gender, placentas, culture, womanhood, and gross squishy babies. Think you're gonna love this one!

Mar 31, 2017

You like professional wrestling? The thing is, even if you think you don't, you honestly do. From the pageantry to the hella ripped bods to the powerful community that's congealed around it, wrestling has become so much more than just a goofy rigged pseudo-sport. And in this episode our illustrious guest argues that the modern era of wrestling can be traced back to one shocking fight - the infamous Montreal Screwjob. Jon Mackey is a talented writer, director, and comedian, and he's finally going public about his passionate love for the art and sport that is wrestling. He's also addressing the true conspiracy behind the event that changed sports forever.

Mar 25, 2017

Wowie zowie, it's our 50th episode! It's been a blast to take this journey with all of you, and we think it was a blast to record this ep but somehow nobody really remembers doing it? It's weird, we all just sort of have a blank 48 hours in our memories. But it seems like that was when we were recording and editing this? Guess this is what happens when you set out to do a 9/11 episode. Anyway, huge thanks to all the people who apparently lent their talents to this, including: Matt Walsh, Sarah Claspell, Jon Mackey, Ele Woods, Ben Dietzel, Ryan Middledorf, Grant Martz, Sarah De La Isla, Cooper James, Clem, Maude, Michael Dean, and Alexis Preston. They were probably an absolute pleasure to have in the Lizard's Lair. Hope you like it! And... stay safe out there.

Mar 21, 2017

If you're like us, you're still waiting on your check for protesting from George Soros. What gives, Georgie? Turns ol Soros is at the heart of a lot of contemporary conspiracy theories, including the ones that paint Black Lives Matter as a violent group, and that argue that the Women's March was organized by the shady left. But are any of these true? Are all of them true? Is the New York Times Opinion section basically just The National Enquirer these days? All these questions and more will be answered in this fran-inspired mini-episode.

Mar 17, 2017

Tap tap. Tap tap. What's that sound? Why it's a gay bathroom scandal a-blowing in! It seems like with every passing year there's another crazy drama wherein a conservative politician who's actively campaigned against LGBTQ rights is discovered soliciting sexy gay sex online or in a men's room. But what's behind all that? Why does it keep turning out that the most hateful people are the very thing they hate? Our hilarious and brilliant guest Petey Gibson addresses that weird pattern in the very best way - by arguing that it's kind of a conspiracy! Petey also has some very wise words about marriage, vaudeville, gender, muffin tops, politics, seals, and which chest binder gives you the most bang for your buck. We have a lot of laughs, and we also do a lot of serious thinking! Take this journey with us, won't ya?

Mar 10, 2017

Ooh wee, one of the big ones! Folks have been rehashing the chemtrails/contrails controversy since way back in the 90's, and it seems like each new day brings a new Reddit subthread about it. But what exactly are chemtrails? And why do they keep appearing in the form of a Star of David? Our guest, the wildly talented actor and comedian Mike Lane, addresses just these questions. Plus he also tells us all about Chamillionaire, fashion, superbugs, vapor, nude planes, secret technology, big pharma, little effers, depression, and way way more.  But one thing that none of us know about is video games! This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, so head on over to and enter the code LIZARD for 20% off!

Mar 3, 2017

Did you know that at one point the US government was just giving out free TV's? And did you know that Siri can totally hear what you're saying at all times? Doesn't that just wig you out??? For some of us, the answer is nah. But according to our illustrious guest, actor and comedian Sarah Claspell, we should all be a little more worried about exactly what data our TV's and smart phones and wise watches are collecting. We also touch on pie thumbs, geometry, bombs, the NSA, nerds, and much much more. This episode also features a WILD cameo from our friend Alexa. Still waiting on those 100 beers.

Feb 24, 2017

You're a good pet owner. You feed your fur baby (ew) the more expensive food, you make sure they get exercise and stimulation, you give them lots of nice pats, you microchip them. But what if that little piece of tech isn't there to track your cat? What if it's there... to track you? The hilarious actor and writer and comedian Haley Hepworth rolled through to argue that our pets microchips are just part of a bigger strategy from the government to keep us in line. And it's preeeeetty spooky, if you think about it!! We have a nice chat and get to describe lots of cute animal things. What more could you want?

Feb 21, 2017

When you make a weird ass movie, people are gonna come up with weird ass theories about it. And there's one weird ass theory about the movie Grease that states that Sandy died before the action of the movie even starts, and the whole film is her dying brain constructing an elaborate dream of what might have been. There's a lot of evidence, from the crazy fantasy sequences to that insane gosh dang flying car. Do those really happen? Or did Sandra Dee say good bye to life? You be the judge, dear fran!

Feb 17, 2017

If you're looking for the original day that will live in infamy, look no further! America was rocked by the Japanese attacks on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941 and a lot of folks credit them as the reason the US entered WW2. And look, we're for sure not historians. But  you gotta admit, the US did a pretty weird job of preparing for this attack. And our brilliant guest Tiffany Reeves thinks that the failure to defend against the attack was 100% deliberate. Tiff's a real believer, and as such this convo does get a little more serious than our usually silly shit. But it's so interesting and so informative and you wouldn't believe how complicated our feelings for Hirohito are. Soooo complicated.

Feb 10, 2017

Do you believe that grassroots organizing can work and that people are inherently good? Well then you're a freaking doingus. At least, so SOME people would have you believe! Our guest Edgar Momplaisir - ridiculously talented comedian, writer, and actor - makes the argument that John Kerry's premature concession in the 2004 presidential election was a set-up orchestrated by the secret society Skull and Bones. And y'all, it only gets wilder from there. We have a very spirited argument about the value of protest, the nature of power, and whether fraternities and sororities are hella wack. The debate may get spicy, but don't worry, we're still friends in the end.

Feb 7, 2017

It's the return of the fran theory mini episode! And this one's a five-fer. So Fidel Castro was a pretty bad dude. He started out a footloose and fancy free revolutionary, but then he ruthlessly suppressed freedom of speech and executed just so many people. But! Did you also know that the dude sincerely loved conspiracy theories? Betcha didn't! Here are a few conspiracy theories that Castro believed, a few theories about Castro, and some good ol' fashioned Hempstead rambling. Hope you like! If you didn't, hit us up on the Lizard People Facebook page to yell at us!

Feb 3, 2017

Sex. Drugs. Rock n' Roll. Mental Illness. Plaid. The Pacific Northwest. Misogyny. Vocal Fry. There is A LOT going on in this episode! Actor and comedian and puppeteer Molly Fite rolled through the Lizard's Den to talk about the rumor that Courtney Love had Kurt Cobain whacked. Molly is a child of the grunge era, and this one gets right at the heart of fandom and the nature of mental illness. It's not exactly light-hearted but hey, neither were Nirvana and Hole. Everybody's got an opinion about this crazy relationship, and we're not exceptions.

Jan 27, 2017

It's a steam punk episode! Actor and talented person Julia Fay Zimmerman rolled through to talk about the crimes of the century. HH Holmes was the owner of the infamous Murder Castle in Chicago, and was responsible for the deaths of dozens of unfortunate boarders. Jack The Ripper was the ghoul of White Castle (oops Chapel) who murdered numerous ladies of the night. But there are some out there in this wild old world who believe that they were in fact... the same person!!! Honestly, we were both a little drunk this episode, so it's a loosey goosey one. Also, producer Alexis makes a guest appearance! As does her boyfriend Cooper and her fat cat Maude. The whole gang's here! Except Ryan, he wasn't there.

Jan 20, 2017

You might think you know what the deal is with corks, but trust. You're about to have your little mind blown. Billy Merritt walks us through the connection between French wine, Portuguese corks, EU-hating terrorists, Long Island beef, and those magical dudes who always manage to find weed no matter where they are in the world. Billy Merritt - actor, comedian, writer, and host of the shows Uncorked - rolls through to tell us all about the greatest conspiracy ever to hit the wide world of wine. And also we talk sandwiches! It's a dang blast. 

Jan 13, 2017

When BuzzFeed is the most reputable news source, and the government can do pretty much whatever it wants to private citizens, who can you trust? Kerry O'Neill, that's who! The wildly talented writer and comedian and dog mom stopped by to tell us the unnerving tale of the death of Michael Hastings. The controversial bad boy of digital journalism died in a fiery crash in 2013 under suspicious circumstances, while investigating the CIA. It's sad and weird at the same time. We discuss his legacy, as well as partisan politics, drugs, mental illness, war, the role of journalism, and the decline of American democracy. But also, we have a fun time and make a lot of goofy jokes! That combo shouldn't work, but baby? It does.

Jan 6, 2017

Industrial runoff. Atomic bomb test waste. Tap water. What do these all in common? THEY ALL CONTAIN WATER!!! Just kidding, they all have dreadful terrible fluoride in them. Fluoride is a controversial chemical with a shady past, and the hilarious filmmaker and actor Angela Gulner stops by the Lizard Lair to argue that it's in fact part of a great corporate conspiracy. Along the way we also discuss our favorite junk foods, laugh about how silly German sounds, explore the history of slimy PR guys, bring up psychic grandmas, sip Diet Coke, learn about history, and talk about Angela's amazing webseries Binge. Oh, and keep an ear out for a big disaster caused by Katelyn waving her arms around like an idiot. You'll know it when you hear it!

Dec 23, 2016

Can you believe this podcast is one year old? Feels like it's barely been 11 months! All (hilarious) jokes aside, it's been a pretty wild year. We've covered everything from yetis to Marisa Tomei to lightbulbs to the Illuminati to our Hollow Earth to the Build-A-Bear corporation. We've laughed, we've cried, we've sung songs and drank beers. And through it all, we've been really, really lucky to have you as our listeners. So as a fun wrap-up to this tumultuous time in our lives, in this episode Katelyn takes a little time to tell you something new about every episode we've recorded. Sometimes that 'something new' is a recently uncovered fact about an unsolved murder, sometimes it's just an observation that the guest from that old episode is now married. But it's all pretty fun, tbh. Happy listening, happy holidays, and have a wonderful start to your new year!

Dec 16, 2016

Okay, we gotta conspiracy theory ova heaaaaah! If you like bad Brooklyn accents and arguments about the importance of comedy in culture, this ep is for you baby. Patrick McDonald came on the podcast for a freewheelin' conversation about classic movies, Hollywood scandals, Oscar-bait, Saturday Night Live, the dangers of alcohol, and lots of cute bimbo impressions. Plus, Katelyn tells a story about her shameful past in the seedy underbelly of LA catering. And after all of that, we finally get to the shocking conspiracy theory that the talented Marisa Tomei won a Best Supporting Actress award erroneously, because Jack Palance was too drunk to see the card and therefore said the wrong name! Dram, if you're listening to this, really sorry and please don't sue.

Dec 9, 2016

Ready for some truly dumb dad jokes? This wholesome episode tackles the theory that Ferris Bueller's Day Off, classic 80's teen film, is actually a dark portrait of a deeply disturbed young man who invents a cool imaginary friend with powers he can only dream of. Wow, creepy stuff! Our guest Clara Baker is a big movie buff, and she delivers this wacky theory with a lotta panache and some very expert water drop noises. You're going to come out of this one seeing Cameron pretty dang differently, this we can promise. At the very least you'll agree with us that Alan Ruck has always been a sex symbol. Zamn, zaddy.

Dec 2, 2016

Some episodes of this podcast are silly. Some are thoughtful. And sometimes we have to just say to heck with conspiracy theories, it's time for some good goddamn conversation. This one is that third one. The incredibly funny and borderline genius comedian George Barber stopped by for what we thought was going to be a conversation about the loopy little theory that the media is conditioning us to accept fascism and stuff. But actually it turned into two buds talking about the election, the nature of conspiracy theories, what it's like to be working and middle class, American history, and everything that's been on our minds for the last few weeks. It may not be a normal episode of Lizard People, but it's a talk we were all glad to have. We hope you'll be glad too!

Nov 25, 2016

Wave Segal is a very funny comedian and actor. He's also a hardcore conspiracy theory nerd. And on this episode of Lizard People he presents the most meta, complex, shocking conspiracy theory of all - that there's a conspiracy to spread conspiracy theories! Yes, Wave argues that conspiracy theories are a tool used to distract from real government abuses. Did your mind just get blown? You ain't heard nothing yet. This episode is all about two conspiracy theory nerds nerding out hard and enjoying speculating about the nature of government. It's pretty silly, and it's also so so real. Also we mention the election because we recorded it before the election and wow were we young and happy and naive. Simpler times, y'all.

Nov 18, 2016

Sylvia Plath was a poet, essayist, novelist, and very interesting person. Her work was luminous, and her suicide was notorious. But some people think that her husband (notorious asshole) Ted Hughes had more to do with her death than he ever admitted. People including our guest Julia Meltzer, comedian and podcast host and extremely thoughtful person! We talk about how to deal with sadness, what makes a genius, and how we should think about our heroes. It's not easy stuff to discuss, but if anyone can do it it's a couple of literature nerds who've had a lot of therapy. Shoutouts in this episode include Ariana Lenarsky, feminism, grandmas, formerly fat boys, curses, literary theorists, and teenage girls. This is a bleak one but a good one!

Nov 11, 2016

You might think that the earth is solid all the way through, with different layers like a delicious baklava. But what if the earth is in fact hollow, like a sphere made of poptarts that are frosted on both sides? All these desserts and more come in to play in our fascinating discussion of the Hollow Earth theory. Stand-up comedian and improviser Ben Dietzel makes the case that the middle of the earth is not solid, but is actually the location of the land called Agartha, home of gentle giants and futuristic space craft. It's a very silly good time, and it's sure to make you hungry, so listen with a snack!

Nov 4, 2016

Whatever you're expecting from this episode, gird your loins for a wild surprise! Very fun comedian Elle Eckley stopped by the Lizard's Den to argue that the Patriarchy (the social system that defines our gender roles and keeps women down) is actually a global conspiracy. Which meant that Katelyn had to argue the reverse. It's Social Justice Warrior vs Men's Rights Activist in this episode, and everyone took part in the uncomfortable but still fun work of trying to be a more open-minded person. Did we do it perfectly? No! But imperfect conversations are what podcasts are for! Take the journey with us and see who convinces who.

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