Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
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Lizard People (Comedy & Conspiracy Theories)



All Episodes
Now displaying: 2017
Sep 15, 2017

Our guest this week is comedian, podcaster and American hero Matt Rath, and he has a theory that could blow the lid off the whole damn country. Matt knows that the government is deliberately undermining so-called ‘conspiracy theorists’ in order to make them look ridiculous, so they can carry on with their shady business undisturbed. Think that all UFOlogists are fools? Think again, chump. Also as a bonus, we forced Matt to record this episode in 100-degree heat. See if you can hear the sweat hit the mic!

Sep 8, 2017

Prepare your ears and gird your loins for possibly the filthiest episode of Lizard People ever. Our guest this week is Julie Brister, a bonafide comedy star with a list of tv credits a mile long and a passion for teaching and directing. But really our guest is 13-year-old Julie, who heard a rumor involving Rod Stewart, an onstage collapse, and eight pounds of human semen. Yeah. We talk about how much ejaculate weighs, the sex appeal of androgynous rock stars, how it feels to be in 7th grade and believe everything, how many sailors fit on an aircraft carrier, whether Lizard People will ever get a sponsor again after this episode, and way way more. We also giggle like damn schoolgirls. Enjoy!

Sep 1, 2017

It’s one of history’s great mysteries. What happened to the Russian hiking party that died under suspicious circumstances in the Siberian wilderness? None of the details line up, from the tent torn open from the inside to the mysterious orbs of light some villagers report seeing in the sky that fateful night. Could it have been the government testing dangerous alien tech? Or could it have been something even… dumber? Our guest is the talented writer and dear friend of the show Colton Stickney, and he has a theory about what happened in the Dyatlov Pass that will blow your damn mind. Listen and learn, children.

Aug 25, 2017

Everyone agrees that the government is keeping things from us. But could it be keeping something as huge and world-changing as completely free energy? And more importantly, could this be the greatest podcast crossover ever? Our very special guests this week are Willy Roberts and Wade Randolph from the podcast Real Life Sci-Fi. Willy is a believer, Wade is a skeptic, your girl Katelyn is in-between, and the three of us discuss the possibility that free energy exists and could be harnessed by the average person, if only Big Energy and the leaders of the world weren't keeping it from us. Along the way we also discuss perpetual motion machines, whether gravity exists, what 'free energy' actually means, underwater pyramids, and of course Nikola Tesla.

Aug 18, 2017

It’s part two in our series of ‘Ruin Everyone’s Childhood’ series, and this time a beloved children’s movie is on the chopping block! Lots of people have pointed out that it’s pretty weird that Willy Wonka was fine with baking and stretching children in the film ‘Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory’. But few have dared to make the argument that in fact those children weren’t just juiced - they were iced. Heroic podcast producer/comedian and dear friend of the show Rian Kountzhouse stopped by to argue just that. We have a spirited debate about whether Gene Wilder was capable of killing the children, whether the Oompa Loompas are just brainwashed cult members, and of course about the nature of reality. It’s a classic episode!

Aug 11, 2017

This one goes out to the 90’s babies! And also to anyone who’s ever wondered if there’s a little more to their cartoons than meets the eye. Also people who love sad shit. This week we talk to the hilarious Franklin sisters, hosts of the podcast Trust The (Bachelor) Process and stellar comedians and writers. Sarah and Alex have a little theory about some of your Nickelodeon shows, and baby, it ain’t pretty. They believe that Doug, Rugrats, Spongebob Squarepants and Hey Arnold are actually about the ravages of loss and mental illness. Yes, your favorite cartoon kiddos are actual irradiated, depressed, schizophrenic, racist, and just downright old-fashioned grief phantoms. Fun!

Aug 4, 2017

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a meteor! It’s a comet! It’s… Tesla’s magic death ray gone wild?? Oh do we have a doozy of an episode for you, scouts. America’s podcast boyfriend Steven Ray Morris is here, and he’s got a fascinating theory about what really caused the Tunguska event. We talk about what might be behind the massive explosion that flattened thousands of acres of Russian forest, which has baffled scientists ever since. And we also cover band names, how much we both love cats, reindeer behavior, stupid asshole jerk Thomas Edison, and beautiful gorgeous nature. Also we straight up ROAST producer Alexis. It’s fun!

Jul 28, 2017

Whatever happened to history’s most famous fly girl?? That question has haunted many a PBS special and Florida retiree. And this week, we delve into the mysterious photo that’s re-opened the Earhart cold case and has us all wondering where she went. Our guest Mel Stephens - of the poignant podcast Fear Based Life - walks us through the events of the crash, and the possibilities for what might have happened. Along the way, we also talk drones, military goof-ups, and the fact that Ameelz was the dopest person of the whole 30’s. Miss you girl.

Jul 21, 2017

Do you like music? Of course you do! And you’re gonna love this extremely in depth conversation about George and Katelyn’s favorite players in the wonderful world of alt-country (whatever that means!!!) We talk Americana, the Nashville machine, those songs that stop you dead in your tracks and make you cry, the difference between honest and dishonest lyrics, which musicians are the funniest, and somehow we even manage to talk about a conspiracy theory. What theory? Why, that indie country darling Sturgill Simpson is secretly a Navy Seal turned CIA Assassin. Oh and listen all the way through for several bonus original country songs from your new fave musical duo.

It’s your last chance (for a lil while) to get a Loot Crate for less and to help out Lizard People! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to money and support your buds.

Jul 14, 2017

Buckle up buddies because we are about to get POLITICAL. Our guest is the unbelievably funny and brilliant Travis Coles, and he has a theory so bold and shocking that it just might destroy politics and celebrity culture as we know it. He thinks that actor Stacey Dash and surgeon/politician Ben Carson are both robots created by white supremacist neo-cons to undermine black progressives and promote racism. Sound wild? You don’t even know the HALF of it. We talk about Hollyweird, DC, racism, Uncle Toms, narcissists, gender neutral bathrooms, and how trill and fun it is to be a progressive.

Know who gave us money to make this episode? Loot Crate did. We love ‘em. Go to and enter our code LIZARD.

Jul 12, 2017

The Eye of Horus. The Pyramid. Bender’s shiny metal ass. All these things are powerful Illuminati symbols, designed to brainwash the masses and bring us sheeple peacefully into servitude. Don’t believe us? Well we got the RECEIPTS buddy!! In this mini episode, Katelyn explores the Illuminati symbolism within Matt Groening’s beloved animated shows. Are Homer and Leela and Fry and Lisa really pawns of the New World Order? Or are internet weirdos just looking for reasons to rewatch the greatest shows ever made.

This whole dang episode was sponsored by Loot Crate. How cute! Go to and enter our code LIZARD to save on your box of excellent goodies. This month has Rick and Morty, do it do it do it!!!

Jul 7, 2017

Genetically modified organisms. Pesticides. Chemical fertilizers. They're on everything except a dang label. But are these integral parts of agriculture in the modern world? Or are they hot toxic garbage designed to make us sick so that They can benefit??? Unbelievably hilarious podcast host and comedian Jackie Michele Johnson (of Natch Beaut fame) stopped by the Lizards Den to argue that GMOs etc are part of a master plan, and that to feel clean you gotta eat clean. Everyone gets a little passionate about food, but gosh dang it food is important and why shouldn't we???

This episode is brought to you by Loot Crate, a box full of delightful fun.  Go to and enter code LIZARD!!

Jun 30, 2017

One of the great American mysteries of the 20th century began on Christmas Eve of 1945 in West Virginia. West Virginia!! The story of the missing Sodder children has haunted the country ever since, and what might appear to be a simple and depressing case of a house fire might be way more than that. In this ep, the extremely smart Tamar Stevens catches us up on the many possibilities of what might have happened to the tots, from for-profit adoption to Italian fascists to maybe even just like wandering out into the night. And if you get time, you absolutely MUST research what was in that box. This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It’s fun! Go to and enter our code LIZARD. Have fun!

Jun 23, 2017

JD Salinger’s seminal novel Catcher In The Rye has been THE classic teen angst bible for half a century. It’s beloved by alienated teens and weird adults alike. But what if the book is more than just the story of an emo little shithead wandering around New York City? What if it’s a government tool used to trigger assassins? OR ALTERNATIVELY what if it’s just a book written by a madman that appeals to the darkness inside other loonys? OR WHAT IF this whole episode is a pretext for the wonderful Cassi Jerkins to talk about her cats? WHAT IF?!?!?!?!? This ep brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate! It’s fun! Go to and enter our code LIZARD.

Jun 16, 2017

Fan fave Dave Child is back! And this time he’s tackling one of the great American urban legends - the Mothman himself. This very serious look at West Virginia’s favorite cryptid and Richard Gere’s least favorite film covers all the possibilities for what the Mothman might really be. Is he an evolutionary throwback? A traveler from another dimension? Or a monster that reappears throughout world mythology - and in another episode of this very podcast? Listen up and decide for yourself, gumshoe!

This episode is sponsored by Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Head to for all your clothing needs and get 20% off with our lil code LIZARD. Then pop by for some nerdy goodies and enter our promo code LIZARD. Thanks, love you!

Jun 9, 2017

Hasn’t every little girl dreamed of being a pop star? The fame, the outfits, the chance to goad your best friend into suicide so that you can take over her life and then record some cutesy pop albums. This wicked little conspiracy dates all the way back to 2007, but it’s having a resurgence for some reason. And comedian, writer, stripper and podcast host Kasey Koop is here to argue that Avril died and was replaced by her body double right after her second album. We talk about who married Chad Kroeger, the way artists evolve over a lifetime, Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus, Satan, our teen years, and whether astrology is just total bullshit. This episode is sponsored by our good buddies Loot Crate and Mack Weldon. Get your butt over to and use the promo code LIZARD for 20% off all their classy underwear, socks, shirts, sweats and swag. Then cruise by and sign up for their cool as hell subscription box using the promo code LIZARD. They’re awesome.

Jun 2, 2017

We’d like to buy the world a… SHAM?!? There’s an unsavory episode in the history of Coca Cola that the biggest soda company in the world would like you to forget about (actually there are a bunch, look it up). But in this case, we’re talking about Coke’s colossal and expensive 1985 misstep, the introduction of New Coke. The company lost millions of dollars because consumers refused to let them trifle with their beloved bev, and Coke quickly replaced the old formula. But here’s the thing. Some people think it wasn’t a misstep at all, and the company intentionally took an L so that they could bring back traditional Coke and blow everyone’s minds. What madman would be bold enough to argue this theory? WILL HINES THAT’S WHO. The phenomenal comedian, teacher, writer, and actor stopped by to blow all our minds with his wildly well-thought-out theory that Coca Cola planned the whole dang caper. Thanks Will! And thanks to you for listening. Hey and don’t forget to patronize our Brand! New! Sponsor! We love Loot Crate and we think you will too, head over to and use promo code LIZARD to get your nerd swag.

May 26, 2017

The loveable lads from Liverpool led a laudable life and left a lasting legacy. But what if there’s more to the story than just ‘four dudes did good tunes’? What if the story of The Beatles also involved… A CONSPIRACY THEORY??!? The rumour that Paul McCartney died in 69 and was replaced by a lookalike has dogged the mop top crew ever since Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was released, and it endures even unto today. And talented musician and comedian Greg Smith is here to argue that there’s more to this theory than meets the eye. We cover music, murder, money, and the real reason Katelyn hates the music of The Beatles. It’s a very bad reason.

May 19, 2017

You might think you know everything about the theory that Beyonce used a surrogate to give birth to little Blue. Honey? YOU KNOW NOTHING. Our wonderful guests for this episode - Molly Fite and Liz Jenkins - argue that there is a huge web of conspiracies and lies surrounding the precious little toddler. A web that includes egg donation, big ass fans, the comedy stylings of Wendy Williams, misogyny, celebrity culture, wigs on wigs on wigs, and one of the funniest comedy duos in the business. Molly and Liz are a dream, Blue Ivy is a cute baby, and at the end of the day you can always just throw up your hands and say WHO CARES. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon! Pop on over to, use our code LIZARD for 20% off, and get you some cool new gear.

May 12, 2017
Elvis sightings. They're as all-American as IHOP and as elusive as an IHOP with clean tables. But why has the conspiracy theory that Elvis Presley faked his own death endured for so long? And why does the National Enquirer STILL post about it? These questions and more are answered by the excellent and thoughtful Clare Loughran, our guest for this week. Clare's got the inside scoop on all the things that are sus about Elvis' autopsy report, his gravestone, and his weird creepy legacy. There's a lotta weirdness there, y'all! This ep is brought to you by our good buddies over at Mack Weldon. Use promo code LIZARD for 20% off ya new drawers!
May 5, 2017

Did you know about the tragic story about what Epcot Center might have been? Do you know why Disney animators used to call Walt a tree in the woods (or something like that)? DO YOU KNOW WHERE WALT'S FROZEN BODY IS BURIED?? If you seek the answers to these questions and more, this episode is gonna rock your dang world. Talented comedian and Disney fanatic Rachel Chapman is here to argue that the creator of modern animation Walt Disney was in fact cryogenically frozen right after his death and is somewhere under one of the theme parks. It's an conspiracy old theory and a good one, and we had a real fun time talking Disney lore and animation drama.

Apr 28, 2017

Basketball is the only sport worth watching. What, is that too hot of a take for you? TOO BAD. Prepare to get fired up about sports minutiae, as our guest Naomi Villa walks us through the conspiracy theory that referees rigged the 2016 NBA championship. Naomi is a comedian and recent b-ball convert, and she has some strong opinions about those seven stressful games between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers. We come up with some really great nicknames for the teams and players and managers in this one, feel free to tweet at them and let them know they have a new moniker.

Apr 21, 2017

Katie Holmes at Pilates? Oprah Winfrey riding in a John Deere tractor for charity? Chris Evans glazing  pottery at a Color Me Mine? If they're a celebrity in public, you better believe they're wearing a wig. At least, according to our illustrious guest Erin Byrne. Erin makes the argument that all famous folks (pretty much) are follicularly deficient from years of tress abuse, and therefore have to toupee up. And along the way we talk about culture, gender, boring ass basic celebs, wig structuring, internalizes misogyny, and our hella awkward teen years. It's heartfelt and it's silly as shit.

Apr 14, 2017

This HAARP ain't in a philharmonic, that's for sure. Will that be the worst joke this episode? No. This week we get all up into the mysterious  High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program, located in glamorous Gakona, Alaska. HAARP is at the heart of numerous conspiracy theories, largely thanks to it's connection with the oh so strange Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, aka DARPA. Our brainy guest Maggie Monahan walks us through the various possibilities of what might be going on up at HAARP. She also tells us about some of DARPA's dumbest projects, the gnarly nuclear nun, several suspicious doctors, and Katelyn's greatest enemy, the University of Tokyo.

Apr 7, 2017

In a Lizard People first, we have TWO illustrious guests on this episode. And prepare yourself, because it's double the giggles. Julian Gonzales and Jesse Esparza of the Extra Extra Podcast are here to teach us all about one of the most dastardly murders of the 21st century. That's right, the time that Beyonce killed Joan Rivers. At first not very much connects the two celebrities, but once you get into it there's a whole world of mildly convincing numbers and signs. Buckle up for a wild ride through pop culture, high culture, Whitney Houston impressions, Jay Z doppelgangers, meditations on the nature of fandom, and way more. It gets silly as all hell.

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